My co-worker approached my workspace and informed me that “the man” totally busted me browsing the internet. I replied with a whowuzzhuh? I had my gmail, google reader, bank statement, work tools and office communicator open.
I scratched my head.
I turned around and this was when I remembered that from the fishbowl, everybody can see what is on my screen at all times while they are in a meeting. This means my boss’s boss’s bosses.
Doh.
I have a feeling that I’ve already used that title before. Oh well, who cares.
I keep going through these phases where I think so much about writing that I can’t actually write anything. Then I stretch myself out to the point where I am all thin and… Tesla Girls by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark is kind of distracting me. I figure if I am to get back into writing I should probably give into my ooh shiny leaps over the gaps in continuity from my inner dialogue with myself.
Some of my most intrusive insights concerning myself come from these moments.
Also, I completely give up on trying to write properly. I was hoping to set a good example for myself sooner than later but maybe ENG 2020 can fix me up. Like a mechanic. In the house of Doctor. If I’m going to continue playing with language like that, I should probably take it over to the other web page.
No defining moment, no illusive topic. Okay I lied. Completely illusive.
In an unexpected reversal of events, people are now eating ‘land kittens’ because of PETA’s successful campaign to call fish ’sea kittens’.
There are no reassurances. At the end of your day there is no guarantee. Sometimes it does not matter how much you believe in ideals or what is right. When it is done none of it counts for anything. King James was right when he wrote that the meek shall inherit the earth. We live in those times.
The weak and the helpless and the illiterate, they control your fate. The less a person has, the more they have power over you. Our cultures and political and economic structures support that. You will never go to bed with a smug smile on your face and sleep soundly unless you have the American dream of having someone else owe you.
In the end, your dreams will no longer belong to you. Those who cannot dream need them more than those who have. Stripped of your dreams and your sanity you will always fall asleep wondering how the world could have been. How would the world have been if people believed in accountability, responsibility, compassion for their fellow humans? Compassion is no longer a positive value because it steals from the American dream of having something over your neighbor. The more you can hold over them, the more that they owe you. How can you reasonably expect to survive off of someone else’s sweat if you think of them as human like your self? The only way to survive for the weak and the helpless is to dehumanize those around them.
It does not matter how rational and reasonable you are. When your society is determined to dehumanize you, there is nothing left you can do. There will not be anyone to turn to. There is no one to listen. All there is left to do is watch those strands of hope plucked from your head each day. Watch yourself die slowly. The evil was never in the crime. The crime was in allowing the devil to decide your fate.
I’ve started a new blog.
I haven’t even been managing this one very well. Maybe I will post my ‘conspiracy theory’ about the shoe-incident.
futuristic head rip mind explades froth with venom minuscule gobrade.
fission fueled cessation multi playered suggestion forward gathering speak watch
misfollowed brain splotch.
yorgen film switch fling quantum arrowed water sting
forgotten shapes, evaporated lakes, mortified tree stakes tenting into our bloated filth encrusted swing trust.
hollowed gourd-like night tremors alky swallowed face shroud glancing at our pants lost in an illusion of love smitten France compelled to lean closer desired to mean more, sir.
with trappings and trimmings and teething’s and tinnings and thinnings and Then we coalesce into
working through systems overload contributing to extensive modal exponential lemming potential and please burn the forest down
consume the undergrowth. Your food should not continue to live after you digest it.
expel the waste
defecate
Just today I was having some fond memories of field days while I was contemplating cleaning my house. For those of you unfamiliar with the term ‘field day‘ it is code for exhaustive all day detail oriented cleaning. The term itself does not mean cleaning day. I just think that cleaning days were called field days to put some positive spin on it. Kind of like the time I worked at a wilderness therapy camp for at risk youth and we labeled the baking soda as “Yummy Toothpaste”. Anybody with children will recognize this tactic.
Anyway, field days were actually awesome. From boot camp on up to the time I spent on the sub, field days also meant a change of routine and escape from other responsibilities. This is because cleaning was now our number one priority at exclusion of all else. We were expected to find the most remote corners of our spaces and clean them with a toothpicks fineness in detail.
In boot camp, this did not make much difference. We could be found or seen anywhere because there were no hidden spaces. On the boat this made all the difference in the world. Sometimes we would have to fight for a good spot to clean. We could twist our bodies through all sorts of pipes and infrastructure forming ourselves into pretzels where we could fall asleep for almost half of the day.
Field days included all personnel. From the captain down to the newest recruits. Everybody was to be cleaning, minus those needed to operate the boat and drive the boat while we were at sea. This generally meant that clean-up would be completed after the first hour. Leaving the rest of the work day to focus on deep cleaning and detail work. Detail work meant for me to study the backs of my eyelids.
I don’t know if my shipmates were excited about field days like I was, but I always welcomed these times.
Here’s a quick and dirty breakdown of Microsoft Points as of 11/28/08.
arc = arcade
If you’d like the numbers displayed in an easier read format, I’ll be happy to spend some more time working on it. For example: I have been averaging 1600 points per month. This is above average spending based purely on speculation. I could be saving a total of three-and-a-half dollars per month, or $43.68 per year. That’s my skype bill. I know it doesn’t seem like that much savings at first, but I believe it really adds up and is worth holding out for the 4000 points.
And she wouldn’t give it to me.
I’ve been living in a surreality. Or maybe I’ve been living inside of an Adam Sandler movie. Besides that, things are going okay, I guess. Those of you reading my blog, all two of you ;), please be nice to Funny Girl. You are all welcome to discuss whatever you wish but please don’t scare her away. It appears she may be open to the idea of communicating but I need your help, people.
Anything that comes out of my mouth will immediately be discredited. However, there are some out there that she may have a more open mind towards. Feel free to dis me all you want. It makes her happy ;) but please don’t dis on her. I’ve already started by being a good example by transforming into a duck. Something about water off of their backs or something.
Oh and, Doom on the Xbox360 is freaking awesome. I love death-matches.
I burned my fingers badly. I fail miserably at handling materials that have been in the stove. While it was hot. Maybe I am a reflection of my inner clutter. Like a turtle. Although, I believe a different creature would describe my habits better. What do you call those fuzzy little things from South America? Like hedgehogs or something but completely different.
My fingers are smooth. Yet the ripples of my fingerprints linger in my mind. I meant to say across. They linger across my mind. When you skip a stone across a deep, still, smooth part of a river. That’s a keld by the way. Like the cranberries. Yes, I have to.
I haven’t dumped my stream of consciousness for a while now. There’s a pun there. I haven’t poured it like this in writing for a while. Speaking of pouring, you know what had a positive flow today? That utility from the board game that didn’t have the light bulb. Yeah, that one. I didn’t turn them off. I just let it go. This happened before I created scar tissue on my fingertips.
I think I’m going to call in sick today. Still not at the top of my game.
In other news: I am still having difficulties with my tense when writing. I still can’t stick to just one. Some moments I use present tense and the next sentence I’m using past. And I am still catching myself using the passive voice. My English teacher would be failing me right now. Time for me to go back to school.
Spring semester sounds attractive. Summer semester sounds more attractive. Anyone have awesome suggestions for which school deserves me? :)