Archive for October, 2008

behemoth

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

I just have to share some thoughts on the recent hooplah concerning the stories I’ve been reading about Twitter being a Terrorist tool.

You know who is the tool? The damned Feds who have to file sensational reports with the media to heighten our fear and cause people to be scared. What is the definition of terrorism? Doesn’t it have something to do with using fear to control people?

Where were the Feds when the telephone came out? Nobody was there to protect us from the terrorists then. Honestly, statistics show that terrorists use our telephone structure to organize and conduct acts of terror.

In other news, Feds also learn that terrorists have been using the internet to organize and share information. Communications that contain such information as: Real-Time updates about public events, Police and Ambulance response to emergencies, Location of key figures in the American government, and other national security information.

On the other side of the coin, Feds conduct a study that shows terrorists can access CNN, BBC, MSNBC, and other major news outlets. There they can obtain real-time updates about public events, infrastructure, and other national security information.

Studies also show that information contained in books have assisted terrorists in their evil plans to control the world and promptly institute legislation that will protect us from terrorists by restricting the flow of information.

ranting rhetoric

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

My last post brings me to another subject. I’ll be quick about it.

Have you ever noticed that the likelihood of somebody preaching hatred and violence is inversely proportionate to how much of an education they have?

It’s almost as if they know how stupid they are and have to make up for it by taking everyone else down a notch and trying to ‘climb the ladder’ by flinging mud and poo around like the monkeys that they are.

I have been losing a lot of respect for the unwashed masses lately. Time after time they prove to me that ignorance really is not the path to bliss. It is the path to what us geeks call “the dark side of the force”. Ignorance leads to violations of civil rights and general hatred spewing groups that feel it is their duty to become the “upper class” by treating other human beings with contempt and hatred. I really don’t understand it one bit.

innocence

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008

I have a lot on my mind. A lot of fear, anger, happiness, confusion… all sorts of fun stuff.

Here’s the scoop. I have a daughter and I want what’s best for her. I have a responsibility to this baby girl and I don’t know what to do. There are people out there who wish harm upon me and harm upon my relationship with my daughter. How do you fight against a force that feels they are justified in denying rights to another human being? How do you communicate or compromise with people who feel it is their god given right to punish you for not being like them?

I’m very confused about these things. For the last week I have had to make a decision and a change in the way I have been thinking. For a while I let somebody control me with fear. I was stupid and allowed my daughter to be taken away from me because I wanted to believe in human kindness and goodness and our ability to do what is right. I can’t be passive about this anymore. I was always afraid of actively pursuing my relationship with my daughter and I am done with that now.

This is going to be a very rough beginning but I must do whatever it takes to ensure that she has the opportunity to know her father and to have a father in her life that actually wants to be there. I don’t know how many children grow up wishing they had a father. But I do know that there are many.

Nobody is going to hold my hand. Nobody is going to be there to help me. I can’t sit around and whine about how the system does nothing to support fathers. I have to take that step and finally do it. I mean, what do I have to lose? I already don’t get to see her, so what can they take away from me?

There are people out there with information. Like I stated before, our goals are conflicting. I am dedicated to being there to raise a baby girl into adulthood. Some, are dedicated to making sure that does not happen. I do not care what the reasoning or justification behind this kind of attitude. All I can do is pray that my zealousness for being a dad will conquer the zealousness of others to keep two people apart.

 

p.s. For all you eavesdroppers out there that think you have the right to support such disgusting “morals” as denying a baby her right to a father who has the capability to be loving and supportive… I would tell you to go fuck yourselves but I can already assume that you have by denying yourself an education and by placing stock in such outdated belief systems as making moral judgement on people that you have never met and know nothing about

that’s about all the hatred I care to put into the matter. I’ll leave the hating to more experienced people like the people who can’t spell, construct a grammatically correct sentence, or generally do anything that a somewhat educated person can accomplish.

pathetic

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

Boy did I drop the ball today. I got off work at seven in the morning like I always do and decided that since today is my day off, I should get some beer. The Asian guy at the corner opens his store at seven-thirty. What luck. :) I purchased a twelve pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Awesomeness. I did not purchase any cigarettes. You know why? Because I QUIT SMOKING, bitches! booyah.

Turns out, drinking all morning was a poor choice because I missed my date with myself to go see W at the Broadway Cinema tonight. I was also to provide couch and floor space for a band performing at Kilby Court but I missed that as well. I could have had company. Precious company. With so many people in Salt Lake City, it is ironic how difficult it is to find company. Everyone is alone in the city. Urban living oh how I adore and loathe thee at the same time.

I have three Miller High Lifes left and I am contemplating drinking them. I picked them up after the 12-pack of PBR ran out. Just before that time, some guy comes knocking on my door and guess what. I HAVE A KEY TO MY MAILBOX NOW! I haven’t had a key for that thing since umm… June? That’s a long time. Too bad the guy payed a locksmith to come out, because all we had to do was buy a new lock for it. He informed me that he would be charging my landlord 12 dollars for the new lock.

So I drunk dialed my landlord to tell her the good news. And I spoke with her for like, 10 minutes, going on and on about the awesome material she used for the curtains that she gave me. They are a deep dark indigo color. BUT, in the afternoon when the sun is shining through them, they are RED. It’s freaking awesome. And later when the sun is not shining directly through them, they are BLUE and when there is no sun shining through them they are PURPLE. These are the coolest curtains ever.

Besides all that, I had a date with myself to be at the Tavernacle at eight P.M. tonight. By the time I got to my second High Life however, I had somehow passed out. Total Lameness.

I didn’t even realize what had happened until 2am this morning. And that is my story.

Intensely

Sunday, October 19th, 2008

I have had an interesting week, both emotionally and mentally. I had probably reached the low point of my slump. Some projects that I was contemplating were not quite… smart, I guess would be the word. Video games and depression had taken up approximately 4 days out of my week. Oh, and Firefly. Those sixteen hours were fun.

My crazy idea involved attempting some kind of moral stance with my bank. I had reached a point where I felt like I didn’t really have much to lose and I was willing to put a lot on the line. After giving in to the system that was designed specifically to encourage me to fail and losing about 25% of my income to Washington Mutual every pay-check, I had decided that something needed to be done. My final straw was when I sent a check out on Oct 3rd. After receiving an eviction notice on the 8th to vacate the premesis by the 11th I had lost all faith in whatever it was that I was supposed to be having faith in.

With the realization that I may no longer have a place to live based on the actions of my bank, their “delivered by” field had suggested no later than the 8th, I came to the conclusion that I may as well go down fighting. I had this fantasy about what I wanted to do. My fantasies are just that… fantasies. At times, I am sure that my life would benefit more if I learned the secret to making some of my fantasies realities but this was not one of those instances.

The basic plan involved making it to the bank and having a little talk with a manager. I had hoped to have this interaction recorded somehow so that I may review it at a later point in life and see if I was right or wrong. My point was to have a little speech delivered to the manager and provide an ultimatum in which they could make a decision as to my fate. Banks are corporations that think they are people and thusly, think they develop policies that enforce a system of ethics that, to a corporation, are good and beneficial to the society of which they are a part.

My reasoning is that this is complete bull-shit and corps do not have the same needs as a human being and they never will because they do not need food, air, water, and any of the other needs that humans have. Corps need money, human labor, and resources from the earth. Two very conflicting philosophies. As a result, policies regarding human interaction are applied and later enforced regarding what a corp feels is ‘right’. Soon this shifts into law because a large enough percentage of the population have been practicing these policies in ‘ethics’ for long enough that it is a simple matter for most forms of government to agree to make concessions to protect its “Citizen’s” right to the pursuit of happiness.

Because of such a fundamental difference in how this legal fiction interacts with a society, we end up in the kind of situations that I found myself in. A bank employee telling me that by allowing me to spend money I don’t have, which we tend to call Credit, they are protecting me from making a mistake and protecting me from spending more money than I can afford to spend. To top it all off, this human being that represents the legal fiction in question, WaMu, goes on to inform me that because of this “service” they feel completely justified in collecting thirty-four dollars for each ‘protection’ fee.

I look at it like this. I spend four dollars from an account with a balance of zero. This is possible because I have been given enough rope with which to hang myself. This situation arises because of what we call Credit Scores. With a higher credit score, we would not be placed in such a precarious position because we have proved with our credit scores that we will not be preyed upon thus also proving that it would be a waste of a con-artist’s time and resources to pursue us as an avenue for revenue. With this four dollar expenditure, Washington Mutual applies there humanitarian policy of saving us by incurring a thirty-four dollar ‘overdraft fee’. Nobody, and I mean nobody within a bank has been convinced that this is the exact same thing as credit, just with an ungodly and unethical interest rate applied to this credit that was extended to me.

Taking much of the above into account, I had felt that a confrontation of some sort was needed. I had some overdraft fees that came about as a result of an extraneous charge which was immediately corrected by the next day. Before the money was placed back into the account, a thirty-four dollar fee was applied. As a result, this kind of snowballed into several other charges incurring overdraft charges and the first time I tried to have this reversed, I failed. Because I had to come to the bank in person. I do happen to work graveyards and fall asleep right around eight in the morning and wake up around seven in the evening.

This story is getting way too long and bulky, I won’t blame anyone for a TL;DR.

Simpler language:

Go to bank; inform employee to STFU and listen; Give me back the following fees or there will be a situation; Be told by bank employee that their job was to serve the needs of the legal fiction which they served; Force employee to reassess situation by asking “How far are you willing to go in order to keep this money?” “Are you zealous enough to put your well-being at risk and the freedom of another human being at risk (me) in order to protect this “Moral high-ground” of which you keep telling me about?”;

Smack person around with all the rage I have available to me that was created by my inability to hold a legal fiction responsible for its actions.

I don’t know what was to happen, but I was not going to walk out of there with any form of compromise.

Anyway, I guess I will have to write more about the other topics later. This post has gone on long enough.

memories

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

I can’t believe how much has happened in my life. I constantly feel like an old man when I sit down and contemplate and reflect the life I have lived. Today I found some old pictures from a party that I had attended.  I sure wasn’t afraid to party. What happened to that person? Why did I have to grow up and get all responsible and shit?

It is a strange feeling to look up an isolated incident in my life and see that it has become a topic of discussion or an inside joke years later. I have been trying to figure out whether or not I should be proud or ashamed. I think I will choose pride. Pride is the only way to go in these situations and I have no regrets. I love my life.

It really is awesome when you meet somebody new and they are provided funny anecdotes about your life from people you don’t even know. Then you get to relive those moments all over again. Example: I meet new friend, friend’s friend happens to know something about me and forwards information, new friend shares old information and it is all a new fresh experience again. Revitalize the past yo ;) I wished that the pool2boy website were still up. Apparently even in ‘08 the meme remains and the word pool2boy is an inside joke to be shared with others as a symbol of “I was there”. I’ll have to ask optikal which talk it was that he heard the mention at.

Speaking of Defcon, did I ever mention that Wynn’s daughter is a fucking hottie? That is all I will say about that.

Browsing through the old pictures, I relived my experience drinking habanero rum. Best home made brew, ever. I think it was about 200 proof and it was made with about two pounds of habaneros. I had to chew it to swallow it. My host had great timing and managed to snap pictures at critical moments. I remember dripping sweat mucus and saliva out of every pore in my body. It was amazing. I highly recommend it. Look for Flea at defcon and ask him to make you some. Give him lots of money. It is worth it.

What else has been going on? WaMu has not delivered my rent check, taken 300 dollars in the last week, and I have an eviction notice. These are exciting times we live in. Maybe I need to meet myself again and get in touch with that dude who knew how to party. I miss him. My friends miss him. Strangers miss him. What was I thinking when I decided I wanted to grow up? Growing up is for assholes and bitches.

What Happen

Sunday, October 5th, 2008

Apparently I have been gone for a month and have neglected my writing duties. It’s not that I owe anyone in particular, it’s just that I owe it to myself. What’s been going on in the last month?

Americans bail out the financial sector, Republican Veep candidate mocks headlights everywhere, I get a letter from Office of Recovery Services concerning a child that I was told was not mine, Utes win a football game, German girls on tour of America come and go, California is put under pressure by LDS members to vote against Marriage, skinless bodies take up residence behind the SLC Main Library, all sorts of happenings in the last month.

Do I want to talk about any of them? There are a couple of conversation starters in there. Here is one of my thoughts on the California Proposition 8; Why do they claim that they are “Protecting Marriage”? I do not understand how denying adult human beings the right to be married protects it. Isn’t that the exact opposite of ‘protecting’? What am I missing here?

Why is the Office of Recovery Services contacting me? I had word that somehow I did not, in fact, impregnate a certain girl. That is still up in the air. I asked her but she declined to tell me if it was mine or not. Apparently ORS is contacting me because *I* paid a visit to them, not because they need to get paid back for all the money they are spending on the mother of the child in question and they have failed to find a biological father. That’s the part I do not understand. Why can’t they find the biological father? What is really going on here? Can somebody please help me make sense out of this chaos?

Anyway, I am off to watch some movies. I hope to write at myself again sometime soon.