keldwud.org

I have been spending a lot of time becoming withdrawn from the world, lately. Many random and scattered thoughts, wishes, and dreams have been dominating my psyche as of late. For instance, I just repeated the same sentence twice but in different words. I thought that one of my goals was to learn the efficiency of the english language, which it can be. However, the opposite can be true. Too many words can be said to mean nothing.

I could hope to avoid too much redunancy and flowery terms. Someday, I would like to see myself taking more courses involving the written language. Do I wish to define myself through my writing? Maybe I am looking to it as some sort of magical tool that will prioritize my wants and needs for me so that I do not have to accomplish this task by myself. Lack of responsibility to myself would make a very fine goal. Back to childhood and into our immaturity we journey.

Did I mention that Mindy had contacted me? I wonder how long it will take me to get over the whole thing. One of my dreams was to have a child. As I write, I remember one of the lessons that my english teacher imparted to me. Use concrete terms. Use the be verb only as a last resort. I am glad for his instruction. Back to the subject of having a child, I also felt somewhat validated as a male of my species and had discovered that yes, I am a man. I never looked at virility as a qualifier for manhood but once it had happened I felt that it made for a great indicator. Then it fled from me. Taken away. Never happened.

The never happened story seems to crop up quite often in my life’s experiences. Living in a constant state of learning that certain things never happened can really cause a person to start questioning his reality. You start to wonder if what you are feeling is even real and you begin to avoid the real in favor of the synthetic. Hell, science can even prove that the synthetic is as valid as the real and the only difference anyway is external stimulii versus internal. I picked up that bit from some of the TED talks I have been watching lately.

To be a bit more direct, it all boils down to the same thing. I am depressed, have no clue in what direction I want to travel, and can’t make up my mind about who I hope to become. Sincerity is a quality I would like to live up to but what the hell am I doing anyway?

Playing video games, going to work, coming home, reading the internet, playing more video games. Do I want anything more out of my life? What do I want to do for my birthday? I will be twenty-nine years old. How do I want to feel about this? Right now I feel a bit anxious about it but that is mostly because I think some part of me is trying to plan out a boring lonely birthday. That side of me usually wins. I hope it goes different this year.

 p.s. if you clicked on that link, feel free to LOL at my Emo Gayness. I sure did.

keldwud Losing myself in a sea of anonymity and seperateness created by the walls of information we build between each otherNeed a one-on-one plz :( 15 minutes ago from web

keldwud or a hug… SERIEZ OF TUBEZ! GIMME HUGZ NAO! The lolcat ‘netspeak meme demands it!!!!11oneSHIFTeleventyone. 14 minutes ago from web

The open culture that is growing and developing as a result of the internet is bringing us closer by transcending distances and culture and language and any other barrier.

Because of this, we are all that much closer together.

But also, because of this closeness, there is an unmeasurable essence that is becoming lost.

The infinite variety in the options we have to communicate with each other makes us feel like we can reach out to anybody.

The reality of the situation is different. what really happens is that we start echoing ourselves, to ourselves.

While the rest of the world is drowned out in the white noise that we create.

It appears that my blogger is broken. I will have to do my whining and bitching over here until I figure out how to repair it. The following is a communications to Microsoft.

Hello, I have just purchased an Xbox360 60GB model. I think I may have jumped the gun on purchasing the xbox because the whole reason I bought an xbox instead of another product was because of some hype I found floating around on the Internet about being able to stream my Netflix to my xbox.

This is partly my fault for not researching it further before investing my money. However, I am still extremely disappointed that I will not be able to participate in this venture because netflix tells me that the functionality may not be ready until late fall.

I am young and impatient and desperately in need of a more promising solution for the consumption of my media. Streaming is the only way to go. Digital and physical storage are both bulky, costly, and a pain in the butt to manage.

I was under the impression that the xbox360 would be the answer to my needs. At this point in time I feel differently. If there is anyone who could provide me with any more information about what is going on with the partnership between netflix and Microsoft I would very much appreciate hearing from them.

Until then, I feel I may be forced to find a different solution to my media and gaming needs. The Xbox360 right now is not fulfilling my wants and I really could use that investment toward a more practical solution that would better fit my needs.

This is an opportunity for Microsoft to shine and set an example in customer service. My *minimum* expectations are that I will receive a reply from somebody who can at least smooth talk me into being happy with what I already have but I fully expect that this issue immediately be escalated past your first level of support as I doubt Microsoft has given them the tools to resolve my issue.

One of two things can happen here. I can be contacted by somebody with greater lee-way in dealing with unsatisfied customers or I can receive an auto response or template email telling me marketing information about the netflix deal. I will change from an unsatisfied customer to a passionately angry customer if the second of the two is what happens.

I hope for the best and I would have faith that Microsoft will want me as a customer enough that some care will be shown in handling this situation.

Thank you for your time, Holden Caulfield (yes, it is an alias)

this email was sent through the E-mail live support feature found on help.xbox.com/eform
this email can also be found at :

http://keldwud.blogspot.com/2008/08/xbox360-and-netflix.html

the blogspot link seems to be causing issues. I’ll fix later.

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/uncategorised/the-omnivores-hundred/ linking to your results.

Keldwud’s Omnivore’s Hundred:

-1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
-3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
-8. Carp
9. Borscht
-10. Baba ghanoush
-11. Calamari
12. Pho
-13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
-15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
-20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
-24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
-29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
-31. Wasabi peas
-32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
-34. Sauerkraut
-35. Root beer float
-36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
-38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
-39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
-42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
-45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
-49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
-51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
-55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
-57. Dirty gin martini
-58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
-61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
-67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
-73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
-77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
-82. Eggs Benedict
-83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
-87. Goulash
-88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
-91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
-94. Catfish
-95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
-98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

I broke the screen on my EEE PC last night by being a jackass. I was throwing a fit and kicked an empty can of beer across the room because things were not going my way. Oh well.

Lately Mindy has been communicating with me through Myspace. She is being nice and I am kind of scared. What if she continues to be nice to me and I allow her into my life? What will she want from me? I need this opportunity in order to find out one hundred percent for sure if the baby is not mine. But beyond that what is going to happen?

I don’t have many other observations to share right now. I haven’t been paying too much attention to the world around me. GET OFF YOUR BUTT SLACKER.

I have been reading more and more stories about computer technicians, cable technicians, and those involved with repair of customer electronics where something unethical or perverse has happened. Recently I read an article discussing how a tech had repaired a woman’s computer and as an added bonus he installed software that would activate her webcam whenever she was present and then upload pictures and video across the web What the fuck? Seriously.

What about those comcast technician gaffes that you see pop up on the web slightly more often than intermittently. There was a muderer / rapist. Plenty of stories about the people who deal with your technology and using that to invade your privacy or worse.

When I want to go work at a call center that deals with people’s credit card information I have to pass a background check. When I drive a taxi cab in a major city, in order to be licensed I must pass a background check. Why is it that a technician who has access to everything on your computer, your banking, your passwords, your family photos, your address books, your credit card information, everything; why is it that there is no screening process? Has anybody even thought about this? Can we write to our representatives and be concerned and ask for some sort of resolution?

I am the last person to ever suggest “there should be a law against that” I loathe that attitude more than anything else. I am not suggesting a law. I am suggesting that as responsible adults maybe we should have some sort of screening process involved for the people that deal with the most intimate parts of our lives, our technology and our data storage. Ask your local business how they hire their technicians. Refuse to do business with them if they cannot assure you that your privacy will not be invaded. There are predators sneaking into these positions of trust and exploiting their access.

What are some creative solutions that you can come up with? I want to hear your suggestions. I want to see some  dialogue on this matter. I don’t care where the discussion takes place, just as long as somebody is discussing it.

I really don’t know what to say about this. There was poop in my blanket. I have not found the source of the poop and I probably never will. But wow. Poop. Shit. Feces.

I found myself thinking about slcguide today. That is good. Maybe if I think about it more, I will start producing that content that I need to produce. The library is a wonderful source of information. City weekly is teh awesome. Why do I not have an issue of slug on my magazine table? Why do I not have a magazine table? Interesting how the spell check recommends slugged as a possible correct spelling for the redly underlined word slcguide.

I have been spending a bit of time in Google reader lately. Feeding my brain with about 100 posts per day. These posts do not include the content I absorb through twitter, friendfeed, and other various aggregates. I AM JACKS BLEEDING SENSE OF THE AGGREGATE.
Moo.

I ingested some single serving sites this week. Check my feeds to see what I discovered. I hope to ingest some coke. Get out there and party it up. Smoke some cigarettes and drink some beer. The other day I spent approximately 18 hours drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. What an adventure. Not even the adderall kept me going past 2am that morning. Of course, I woke up at 5am ready to go.

Reading all these other blogs I notice that the key to being noticed is to talk about other people or other things. I don’t know how to do this effectively. I would love to talk about futurism or accelerated blahblah or maybe some good movies or new technologies or what yummy food I have made recently (with pictures). Instead, I pander to myself and stroke stroke stroke.

Speaking of which, I need to sign up for the local pool and start working out. My friend’s kid to me the other day said, “keldwud, why are you so fat?” This question appealed to my feminine insecurities and I proceeded to cry. Yes, I cried like the little girl that I am.

Then I remembered that I am a boy, and occasionally a man. Let us be a man this week.

I apparently can only be productive in spurts. I can tell from looking at my posting habits and by monitoring my activities online that I have some interesting habits when it comes to generating content and updating my projects.

I am broken. My collarbone is in the process of healing, I still have black eyes, and my nose is not obviously crooked. There are some legal documents in my backpack for me to peruse sooner than later and maybe that will help me make some sense out of what happened last week. I no longer have my motorcycle.

I made plans to collect my motorcycle last week but instead I did what I usually do and that is something that cannot be defined yet but will be defined here in the near future, or so I hope. Gather my bike, or buy a new one. Talk to insurance companies, all that blah blah blah.

Work is still a breeze. Especially weekends. I love them. I have so many projects I need to touch upon or get balls rolling for that I should be very productive sooner or later. Another course at the university for writing would be very nice. Refine my abilities and increase my vocabulary.

I would prefer an efficiency of language. I want to convey as much as possible with fewer words.

I just had a great idea. But first I want to talk to myself about how I may or may not be recovering my archives and all of my previous content. I was building an actual library of content there for a minute. I want to do as schneier had proposed and store all of my life in one digital location. We are getting closer. I could build a computer to solely track keldwud through google and download all content and arrange it chronologically. Then what would I do with it? Gimme some ideas of what one would do with a whole years worth of recorded life all in the same spot. How would you chose to relive it?

The idea that I am considering is going to be something of an artpiece. It will inflame and enrage many because it involves not quite creating the content but aggregating the content to tell a story. Instead of using one person’s content, I will use the internets to tell a story by pulling comments and posts and all sorts of what-not off the live feed and pulling them out of context and placing them in a new context.

The idea may not be new, and I may be screwing myself out of a cool idea by tipping my hand for all to see but who cares? Ima have some fun with this new idea.

I hope to create a multi-media art exhibit to display in an actual art gallery. I wish to combine all the different types of media and put them together into one cohesive jumbled chaotic work to display. I think this is something that I can pull off.

I am very annoyed with wordpress lately. I was working on my slcguide site and I was trying out different themes. Well, I installed the wrong theme because now I cannot access my admin panel. It comes up as blank. I never should have trusted that theme.

I had a killer sammich from Johnny’s on Second today for dinner. It was the 9-ball. My mouth is watering again just thinking about it. Chicken, ranch, fresh tomatoes, fresh lettuce, some other things and it is bigger than my forearms.

Drank some water and scarfed my food over at Bar-X with some strangers that I met off the internet. Hi person I just met! I know you’re reading ;) We talked about my sexy seven inches of computing power and pickled eggs.

I have a theory about pickled eggs, and I believe it to be true. It goes something like this: Have you ever found pickled eggs in a location that is not white trash? I’m not talking shit on pickled eggs or white trash (I happen to be white trash - check out the awesome moustache on my flickr) it’s just that pickled eggs can only be found in certain places. Have you ever noticed that? Maybe I will compile a list of places you can find pickled eggs.

I remember one morning after feeding a housefull of kids some tea and marshmallows that near the end one of the psychonauts was interested in procuring a pickled egg. He thought this would be an easy task. I warned him everytime he came back empty handed.

He said, oh hay Smith’s will have them they have everything. He came back complaining that nobody there even knew what a pickled egg was. This went on through several stores and gas stations and every time I told him that he has to put on a wife beater and imagine where he would be if he lived in a trailer park. Well, the nearest location for pickled eggs was too far so he never got to eat one.

Because of this experience, later that week I purchased a pickled egg from the gas station down the street of where I used to live. Yum. Now I want a damned pickled egg! I will publish a page dedicated to pickled eggs.

Anybody want to take a word count for how many times I said pickled eggs this post? I should be getting paid top dollar. ;)